Spring showers and pastel flowers are making way for sunflowers, daisies, poppies, and roses. Trees stretch their leafy green branches to provide afternoon shade on hot sunny days. Rivers, lakes, oceans, and waterfalls beckon us toward refreshing waters and cool breezes. In the northern hemisphere, the month of June marks a time of increasing sunlight. Named for Juno, the Roman goddess of marriage and childbirth, June continues Beltane themes with love in the air. June celebrates with weddings, LBGTQ+ and Pride Month, graduations, Juneteenth, and Father’s Day. As the Celtic Wheel turns again, we approach the summer (Cancer) solstice occurring on June 21, 2026, at 1:24 a.m. (PDT). The word “solstice” means “stationary sun”. On solstice and for the next three days, the sun appears to stand still, offering long light and lots of heat to those in the northern part of the world. Summer is coming into full swing. Let’s dive into the season’s gifts of light, cleansing, and joy.
Seasonal Themes and Nuances
Light/Truth – The longest day of the year is summer solstice, the sun shines its light on seeds that were lovingly tended and planted in spring. Fields are bursting with sprouting grains and vegetables, orchards are beginning to unveil sweet summer fruits, all being nourished by the sun’s warmth; a bounty preparing for later harvests. Solstice is a time for warmth, growth, and light. It’s also a great time to contemplate what is flourishing in our ontological gardens. Summer solstice shines a light on what truly matters in life. What dreams and goals are worth pursuing and affirming? What secrets are ready to be revealed in the light of truth? It is a time for truth-telling (to Self and others); a time to let inner light shine brightly in the outer world.
Cleansing/Clearing – With summer’s heat and light, the waters are also calling. Water themes in this season invite swimming, wading, kayaking, floating, and splashing. Whether in the ocean, river, or lake, under a garden hose or waterfall, water refreshes during long hot days. It is also a powerful solvent, associated with cleansing and clearing. We use water to bathe, wash dishes, clothes, and vehicles. Consider enjoying water mindfully to wash away life’s frustrations, fears, and worries or to help clear the cobwebs from being over-worked or exhausted. Ditch the screens and take a dip to renew and refresh.
Joy/Celebration – The earth is alive with the lush greens of summer. It’s time to be outdoors, stretching and breathing in nature’s bounty and brilliance in full light. In the ancient Buddhist and Hindu spiritual systems, the color green is healing, hopeful, and represents the heart chakra. It is the place from which we can radiate love, compassion, generosity, and joy. Gardens everywhere are unfurling fragrant blossoms, celebrating the warm summer sun. During this season of rainbows, healing green growth, and long light, be sure to notice and appreciate nature’s beautiful summer gifts.
Soothing Sweets for the Season
Further Shore has hosted Death Cafés for hundreds of participants where we gather to discuss death, while enjoying a cuppa alongside a sweet treat. Death Café originated in England where tea and cakes were preferred. As we continue to honor Wayne’s legacy, and in the spirit of Death Café, this year’s newsletter will offer recipes for soothing sweets from the Food Doctor and Friends cookbook. This vegan Fruit Crisp made with peaches is a real treat on a hot summer day! It can be made with any stone fruit, but peaches are a summertime favorite. Serve it alongside a tall glass of ginger peach herbal iced tea. Ahhhh, summer!
- 2 lbs. fruit (frozen or fresh)
- 2/3 cup brown sugar
- ½ cup flour
- 1 cup oats
- 1 tsp. cinnamon
- ¼ tsp. nutmeg
- 1/3 cup Earth Balance
Put all ingredients except fruit in food processor and pulse until dough like. Arrange 1/3 of mixture on the bottom of lightly oiled 8”x8” pan. Put fruit on top. Arrange the rest of mixture on top of fruit. Bake at 375° for 30-45 minutes.
Graceful Grief – Part 4 – Bargaining
Further Shore was founded in 2005 with the mission to provide resources and education for living well and dying with dignity. Grief is an abiding theme when one is faced with catastrophic illness, the dying process, and the eventuality of death. This section of the newsletter explores the ways grief can influence life’s relationships, experiences, and choices and to reveal grace and resilience within its challenging aspects. Previous newsletters featured Anticipatory Grief, Denial, and Anger. Use your journal or sit down with a friend to talk about these concepts. See below for details about Graceful Grief, a virtual companion workshop to this writing.
DABDA Model for Grief ~ The acronym, “DABDA” references five stages of grief made famous by the renowned Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. DABDA stands for Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This season’s topic is Bargaining.
Grief-Related Bargaining Features
- Bargaining is a way to feel a bit of control when things feel out of control.
- A key feature of this stage of grief is rumination as grievers return repeatedly to ponder, reflect, or contemplate what might have been different about the loss. “What if. . .” thoughts are common in this stage.
- Bargaining is a close cousin to the second stage of grief (Denial), and offers the illusion of control as it delays or disguises deep sorrow or suffering that accompanies loss.
- Sometimes bargaining results in self-blame or self-punishment, as grievers think they are somehow the cause or at fault when loss occurs. Sometimes bargaining results in blaming, judging, shaming, or punishing others. This can lead to alienating others; decreased socialization, and/or isolation from those in the circle of care and/or loved ones who are likely grieving too.
- Grievers remaining in the bargaining stage of grief long-term may be at risk for complicated grief (also known as prolonged grief disorder). This can affect daily life decision-making, functionality, and lead to depression or anxiety. In the case of acute distress, dial or text 988 for the Suicide Hotline that is available 24/7/365. Conversations with counselors are free and confidential.
Bargaining Notes for Caregivers –
- When patients feel out of control, bargaining behavior is common. For the very ill or those at the end of life, loss of control thoughts and feelings may arise from a sense of desperation, anguish, or panic about potential suffering, loss of agency, fear of the unknown or of death itself.
- Patients may attempt to strike deals with loved ones, caregivers, or medical professionals so they can experience more control and/or to increase feelings of safety. They may ask caregivers to grant specific wishes that are not possible to achieve.
- Caregivers and loved ones can offer a compassionate response with empathetic listening, acknowledgement, and validation of feelings.
- Avoid statements that negate or invalidate their wishes, while using care not to make promises that are difficult or impossible to keep. “I know that would mean a lot to you.”
- Sometimes it is not possible to grant specific wishes. Calling on the palliative care team specialist, hospice staff, a medical advocate, death doula, or counselor for support in bringing comfort for physical, emotional, or spiritual wishes is perfectly appropriate.
Bargaining Notes for Self
- Acknowledging our own grief-related bargaining behavior is a steppingstone to accepting the grieving process as a normal, natural response to loss.
- Practice self-awareness and self-reflection; use a journal or create an art piece to reveal the personal reasons for feeling out of control and/or the need for deal-making with Self, others, or a higher power. Be aware that hope and bargaining are not the same things! We will explore more about this during the workshop.
- Develop awareness about over-thinking or ruminating on past or potential losses. Make peace with the past through ceremony or talk therapy. Envision the future by creating a vision board, mission statement, shield, or mandala reflecting practical, achievable goals and objectives.
- Record or repeat affirmations, such as, I am present, peaceful, and centered in this moment.
Finding Grace
Grief-related bargaining is a natural response to past or future loss of any kind. The behavior can arise from feeling fearful and out of control. To comfort grief and attempt to regain equilibrium or a sense of order within the chaos, bargaining distracts the brain and central nervous system, offering a chance to process the truth about the new reality. When a beloved’s life comes to an end, this stage of grief can repeatedly carry us into the past to search for something that changes the present. When anticipating loss, bargaining can also propel us into the future to seek remedies for suffering occurring in present time. When noticing bargaining behavior, give yourself or others grace by responding with kindness. It may help to remember that grief and love are close companions, traveling together along life’s path.
Bargaining Prompts
Am I feeling fearful or out of control about an anticipated loss or a loss that has already occurred? If so, what is the circumstance? Am I ruminating about things I “should” have or “could” have done to change the past or to rewrite the present? Am I thinking about ways to make a deal in order to avoid a potential loss? When it comes to loss, what are my feelings about “trust”? Is there something helpful or comforting about the bargaining behavior? If so, what comfort does it bring? What will help me feel safe about remaining present to the current reality?
Graceful Grief – Session #4 Bargaining – this virtual program takes a “silver lining” approach and is open to those who are interested in deepening the grief experience to find more grace and peace. The workshop expands on these concepts to include education, coping strategies, meditation, and dialogue for shared empathy and healing. This season’s topic is Bargaining. It will be held on Saturday, July 25, 2026, from 10:00-11:30 a.m. (PDT/AZ) on the Zoom platform. Space limited to 10 participants on first come basis. Registration required by July 18, 2026, via emailing aleia@furthershore.org to secure your place. Freely offered; donations to Further Shore are appreciated. Visit the Further Shore Calendar for future Graceful Grief workshops. Private sessions for this material are available on request.
Newsletter Sign Up ~ is now available on the website. This Mail Chimp service is open to anyone who wants to receive the Further Shore news via email. The news is generated 8 times a year with a focus on living well according to the seasons, tips for caregivers, and more. Your data will not be shared or made public. Thanks for reading!
On the Blog: “Y” is for Yes, Parts 1-4 is now available in the ABC’s for Living Well.
Quotes for Season:
“Green was the silence, wet was the light, the month of June trembled like a butterfly.” ~Pablo Neruda, Chilean Poet
“Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink in the wild air.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet
“Three things cannot hide for long: the Moon, the Sun, and the Truth.” ~ Gautama Buddha