In the northern hemisphere, the month of April is full of contrasts and surprises. While winter’s bluster is fading, its last hurrah can bring howling winds, sleet, and hail in between spring showers, soft sunshine, and vibrant rainbows. As the Celtic Wheel turns again, we approach the Gaelic cross quarter fire holiday called Beltane, also known as May Day (May 1st). This special day falls between the spring (Aries) equinox and summer solstice. Traditionally, this fire holiday begins on the evening before May 1st with a singing, dancing, and making merry around a community bonfire to welcome the early days of summer. The season is full of anticipation, passion, romance, and hope.
Anticipation – After the quiet, more internal winter months yawn and stretch their way to spring’s gentle beauty, Beltane sparks a time that is full of excitement and anticipation. The sun’s returning warmth invites us to get outside for more fresh air and activity. It’s time to plan summer vacations, picnics, or road trips. It could be time to build a labyrinth, spend time in the garden, clean out the garage, or tend to other house-holding projects that can only be done in the warmer months. Anticipation and excitement can go hand in hand when planning for joyful activities. Now is the time to envision a joyful season in the sun. To prepare, practice daily mindfulness and meditation on those goals.
Fertility – The earth is bursting with the colors and fragrances of flowers, buds, crops, and sprouts. The air is full of birdsong and insects are humming. Our bodies are thrumming, pulses quickened by lengthening days and the promise of summer. Beltane’s focus is on passion and fertility. The season between Beltane and summer solstice is favored for engagements and weddings, offering the perfect backdrop for those who are in love, seeking romance, mating, and marriage. It’s a popular season for reigniting motivation, for making dreams come true. What are you passionate about in this fiery season? How can you turn anticipation, excitement, and passion into practical action to achieve those goals?
Hope – May Day! When this phrase is repeated three times by a sea faring vessel, it means “help me”. While global turbulence (income inequality, war, food and job insecurity, violent rhetoric, etc.) is evident in these times, stoicism reminds us to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. On May Day and throughout the early summer season, we can offer practical help and hope to those in need. Donate to a food bank or charity; volunteer at the library, animal shelter, school, or senior center; help a neighbor in need; or participate in roadside cleanup. If mobility limitations keep you grounded, a simple action is to invoke thoughts and feelings of hope. We can hope for peace, compassion, generosity, and kindness in our families, communities, and our world. We can hope for local and world leaders to be guided by equanimity and wisdom. We can hope for all beings to be safe, housed, nourished, and cared for. We can hope for personal well-being, contentment and grace. Let this May Day be a day to spark a season of hope.
Soothing Sweets for the Season
Further Shore has hosted Death Cafés for hundreds of participants where we gather to discuss death, while enjoying a cuppa alongside a sweet treat. Death Café originated in England where tea and cakes were preferred. As we continue to honor Wayne’s legacy, and in the spirit of Death Café, this year’s newsletter will offer recipes for soothing sweets from the Food Doctor and Friends cookbook. This vegan Blueberry Pie feature’s the darling of early summer berries and gives the immune system a boost. Delicious with vegan vanilla ice cream.
- 3 cups pastry flour
- ½ cup oil
- ¾ cup water
- 2 lbs. blueberries
- 1 T corn starch
- 1 lemon – juiced
- ½ cup sugar
- ¼ cup Earth Balance
Mix together flour, oil, and water. Form into ball and chill 30 minutes. Cut dough in half and roll out to fit pie plate. Rinse, then place blueberries into pie plate. Whisk together lemon juice and corn starch. Pour over blueberries. Sprinkle sugar on top. Place slices of Earth Balance on top. Put ½ inch wide strips of rolled out dough on top of pie in a cris-cross manner. Pinch edges together. Bake at 350° until juices start to bubble through and crust is golden brown.
Graceful Grief – Part 3 – Anger
Further Shore was founded in 2005 with the mission to provide resources and education for living well and dying with dignity. Grief is an abiding theme when one is faced with catastrophic illness, the dying process, and the eventuality of death. This section of the newsletter explores the ways grief can influence life’s relationships, experiences, and choices, and to reveal grace and resilience within its challenging aspects. Previous newsletters featured Anticipatory Grief, and Denial. Use your journal or sit down with a friend to talk about these concepts. See below for details about Graceful Grief, a virtual companion program to this writing.
DABDA Model for Grief ~ The acronym, “DABDA” references five stages of grief made famous by the renowned Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. DABDA stands for Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This season’s topic is Anger.
Grief-Related Anger Features
- Frustration and anger are natural responses to loss of any kind. Death of a loved one, moving to a new location, divorce, job loss, financial distress, serious illness, loss due to catastrophic events, etc. can evoke all grief stages, including Anger.
- Grief-related Anger is a normal response to loss, occurring in tandem with suffering that often accompanies loss; it can be a cover for deeply hidden, painful emotions, and feelings of fear, despair, shame, helplessness, or powerlessness.
- Anger can easily arise for the very ill or those at the end-of-life as they feel a sense of failure, shame, or guilt about losing personal agency, ability, or the battle for life itself.
- Outrage, resentment, and blaming others may occur during the Anger stage of grief. Sometimes Anger is self-directed resulting in guilt, shame, and other harmful behaviors.
- Long term Anger (directed at others or self-directed) can result in alienating loved ones and/or losing access to the support resources needed for healing. This may be especially true when loss is related to a sudden, traumatic, or violent death (i.e. caused by heart attack, drunk driver, medical negligence, accident, murder, or suicide). In case of acute distress, dial or text 988 for the Suicide Hotline that is available 24/7/365. Conversations with counselors are free and confidential.
- Anger is often thought to be an inappropriate or socially unacceptable response to loss. But hiding or repressing authentic Anger feelings can spark acute or chronic physical symptoms (i.e. insomnia, nervousness, headaches, muscle pain, digestive and respiratory disorders), that further complicate processing the loss and healing.
Anger Notes for Caregivers – Patients feeling out of control can direct bursts of Anger at anyone in close proximity. The behavior may represent displaced anger (i.e. anger that’s directed toward someone or something unrelated to the initial or truest ontological source of suffering).
- Caregivers and loved ones can offer a compassionate response to a patient’s Anger outbursts through not taking it personally; empathetic listening; and acknowledging that Anger is a symptom of fear or suffering.
- To bolster compassion, briefly put yourself in the patient’s shoes; how might they be feeling; how are they suffering; is fear a factor?
- Avoid toxic positivity; as that will likely add fuel to an anger fire.
- Talk with a counselor and/or others in the care circle about personal or patient anger issues.
- Be patient, compassionate, and kind, while maintaining a healthy self-care boundary.
- Practice forgiveness (for Self and others) via the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono Prayer
Anger Notes for Self
- Acknowledging personal grief-related Anger behavior is a steppingstone to accepting the grieving process as a normal, natural response to loss.
- Practice self-awareness and self-reflection; use a journal, create poetry, or an art piece to discover and express Anger or suffering associated with the loss.
- Expressing or releasing Anger in a safe and healthy way can be useful. Write about the anger-related feelings on a piece of paper, then use a burning bowl, fireplace, or campfire to burn the paper in release. Shred fabric or paper, pillow scream, or engage in an intentional physical activity (like running or boxing). If violent thoughts or feelings accompany anger-related grief, consider anger management training.
- Grounding, soothing activities such as candle gazing, walking barefoot on earth, salt baths, and mindfully breathing, are both grounding and soothing for body, mind, and emotions.
- Record or repeat affirmations, I feel calm and present. I give myself and others grace.
Finding Grace
Grief-related Anger has the potential to reveal a myriad of complex and uncomfortable feelings or states of being relative to loss, failure, fear, and suffering. These feelings occur naturally when we are faced with death of a loved one, our own mortality, or loss of any kind. In order to comfort grief, overcome a sense of loss, redefine failure, dispel fear, or apply compassion to suffering, we must first acknowledge that those challenging conditions are part of being human. While they may not be constant companions, they are likely visitors when loss occurs. While society may frown on embracing and expressing grief-related Anger, doing so in safe and healthy ways can open the door to unexpected healing and grace.
Anger Prompts
Am I feeling angry about an anticipated loss or a loss that has already occurred? If so, what is the circumstance? Does the anger have something to do with fear? If so, what bolsters my courage to face those fears? Does it feel safe to dive deeper into what lies beneath the anger? Do I need some additional type of support to explore that? Does the anger include feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy (feeling like a failure)? How can I let go of the anger and any adjunct feelings in a safe, healthy way? Has anger become a long-term grief coping strategy? If so, is it putting my physical or mental health at risk? Is there something about the anger to be grateful for, a gift or grace?
Graceful Grief – Session #3 Anger – this virtual program takes a “silver lining” approach and is open to those who are interested in deepening the grief experience to find more grace and peace. The workshop expands on these concepts to include education, coping strategies, meditation, and dialogue for shared empathy and healing. This season’s topic is Anger. It will be held on Friday, May 29, 2026, from 3:00-4:30 p.m. (PDT/AZ) on the Zoom platform. Space limited to 10 participants on first come basis. Registration required by May 22, 2026, via emailing aleia@furthershore.org to secure your place. Freely offered; donations to Further Shore are appreciated. Visit the Further Shore Calendar for future Graceful Grief workshops. Private sessions for this material are available on request.
Newsletter Sign Up ~ is now available on the website. This Mail Chimp service is open to anyone who wants to receive the Further Shore news via email. The news is generated 8 times a year with a focus on living well according to the seasons, tips for caregivers, and more. Your data will not be shared or made public. Thanks for reading!
On the Blog: The latest post in the Long Covid Series is Covid Confusion; “X” is for Crossing parts 1, 2, and 3 are available in the ABC’s for Living Well.
Quotes for Season:
“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair…” ~ Susan Polis Schutz, Poet
“In the light of Beltane, may your heart bloom like spring flowers, radiating kindness, peace, and pure joy to all who cross your path.” ~ Daniel Grace (fullblessings.com)
“One must never let the fire go out in one’s soul, but keep it burning.” ~ Vincent van Gogh, Artist
May all beings be safe, well, happy, and content.