The end of September and early October days have been full of wonder and beauty here in southwestern Colorado. Golden leaves are swirling, pumpkin spice is finding its way into everything from morning coffee to evening desserts, and the night sky is full of stars and chill winds. Since the autumnal equinox, the days have grown steadily shorter in the northern hemisphere. The Celtic Wheel of the Year is about to turn again as we rapidly approach the third and final harvest and fire festival, Samhain (pronounced “SOW wen”). Also known as Halloween or All Hallow’s Eve, this cross quarter holiday is a time to celebrate the entire season’s bounty and prepare for the darkness that increases until the winter solstice. It is also the perfect time to share tales around a bonfire and remember the ancestors.
Seasonal Themes and Nuances
Final Harvest & Gratitude – This is the last of the three harvests celebrated by ancient agrarians. Pumpkins, hard squash, carrots, turnips, parsnips, brussels sprouts, beets, potatoes, kale, mustard, or collard greens are typical late harvest veggies. These hearty foods can be stored or made into savory soups or stews to bring warmth to those cold winter nights. Ontologically speaking, this is a great time to wrap up loose ends and bring in the harvest of personal or professional assignments, ideas, projects, or endeavors. Look back at your journal to see what seeds were planted as we welcomed 2025. What else needs to be done to bring in your personal harvest? This is also an appropriate time to express gratitude for life’s many gifts and the warmth of friends, family, and the ancestors.
Quieting, Rest, & Darkness – As noted in last year’s Welcome Autumn newsletter, late October days reflect nature’s showy, brilliant “last hurrah” while accompanied by feelings of dread about the longer, colder winter nights that are just around the corner. There is a natural quieting that occurs in nature when the last leaf has fallen, and the final harvest is gathered. The earth, her vegetation, and many animals are at rest. For people, less daily sunshine hours can mean more S.A.D. days and the need for additional quiet time, rest, and sleep. In the U.S., the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day can be packed full of activities, shopping, and socializing, leaving little time for needed rest. Consider scheduling time for internal pursuits or quieter activities like writing, reading, sewing, scrap booking, meditation, yoga, or napping. These will help to keep you healthy and balanced during the holiday flurry!
Fire & Warmth – Being the last fire festival before the winter (Capricorn) solstice, Samhain and the coming season are a time for joyful bonfire celebrations on chilly late autumnal evenings. The four Remembrance Holidays are for tricks and treats, disguises, secrets, dunking for apples, jack-o-lantern carving, marigolds, ofrendas, hayrides, special pastries, hot cocoa, and warm blankets. It is as much the time for fairy princesses, pirates, ghosts, goblins, magic, and fun, as it is for deep reflection, lighting candles, graveside visits, ceremonies, and offerings of flowers, prayers, or gratitude to those who have passed from this earthly life. Samhain is a festival to acknowledge death as a natural part of life, and to give thanks for life’s lived experiences.
The Seasonal Soup Kitchen
This year one of my goals is to celebrate Wayne’s legacy. Sharing a hearty bowl of soup, a crusty loaf of bread, and good conversation was Wayne’s way to celebrate. Making and sharing soup with others is an act of kindness, and while I can’t make soup for you all, I can share soup recipes from the Food Doctor and Friends cookbook. This Potato and Squash Chowder has just the right blend of seasonal spices that will bring warmth and smiles on a chilly Halloween eve! The great news is that any winter squash works well in this recipe. Pumpkin is certainly the season’s all-star, but acorn, turban, butternut, honeynut, red or green kabocha, or delicata are all excellent choices. Dig into a bowl alongside a piece of warm home baked cornbread.
- 1 T. safflower oil
- 1 large onion, chopped
- 1 T. fresh ginger, grated
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 tsp. salt
- ¼ tsp. black pepper
- 1½ cups water
- 2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
- 1 winter squash, peeled and diced
- 2 T. white wine
- ¼ tsp. grated nutmeg
- 2 cups plain unsweetened soymilk
Sauté oil, onion and ginger until soft. Add garlic, salt and pepper, sauté two more minutes. Stir in water, potato, and squash; bring to a boil and simmer about 20 minutes. Stir in wine and nutmeg. Using a slotted spoon transfer half the mixture to blender and process until smooth. Return puree to pot and add soymilk. Simmer for a couple of minutes. Do not boil.
To Serve or Not to Serve? We all find ourselves in service to others at some point in life. This section of the newsletter will invite you to reflect on the many surprising ways we live a life of service (whether we are aware of it or not). One meaning of the verb “serve” is to attend to; to give one’s attention to. Our 6th installment was featured in the Fall’s Around the Corner newsletter, and focused on service to home and hearth. This season’s topic is service to the ancestors. When thinking about service, it is natural to imagine looking after, attending to, and/or assisting living beings. This section explores the way we do those things for the ones who have passed from this life. What better time than the Remembrance Holidays to remember, attend to, and celebrate the ancestors? These are October 31st through November 2nd, notably, Halloween (aka All Hallow’s Eve or Samhain), All Saints Day, All Souls Day, and Dia de los Muertos.
The word, ancestor refers to our forebearers, or those who were born and died before us. The ancestors are those we are related to or descended from, the ones with whom we have genetic, cultural, and historic links. Serving the ancestors is multi-faceted and can have different meanings dependent on an individual’s perspectives about what happens when we die. While hosting hundreds of folks at Death Cafés, I learned about the wide-ranging nature of those perspectives! A more secular view of death is that the physical body returns to the earth and individual existence (consciousness) terminates with no afterlife of any kind. The secular ancestor “lives on” through our memories of their viewpoints, accomplishments, and worldly contributions that are shared through remembering them and sharing their stories. In a spiritual view, it is believed that after death ancestors transform from matter to spiritual essence, and can remain with the living to provide an abiding, ongoing spirit or soul presence as companions, angels, or guardians. Whether secular or spiritual, the Remembrance Holidays offer many opportunities to reflect on and serve the ancestors.
On reason to celebrate the Remembrance Holidays is for healing grief. While time, the ultimate healer, helps to soften and change grief after loss, it is often true that recovery and resilience can be found through taking small steps for healing. Attending to the ancestors offers a small step that can help to palliate and comfort acute or chronic grief. Last year’s Samhain post includes a section on Remembering and Resilience that may useful to revisit if grief is a new or constant companion. The prompts below are offered as reminders about ways we serve and honor our ancestors at this special time of year. Grab your journal, sit down with friends or family, or sit quietly with a memory of your dear one to reflect on these prompts.
- Some reasons to remember or attend to the ancestors may be to comfort personal, familial, or community grief; to express gratitude for the deceased’s legacy or contributions; or to bolster familial, friend, or community relationships. What are some of my personal reasons to remember or attend to my ancestors? The simple act of talking about the deceased with others who knew them can provide a sense of familiarity, connection, resolution, safety, or happiness. Another simple act is talking directly to them, as if they are present. If I could talk directly to them, what would I say? Am I open to practice talking to them and then carefully listening for their response?
- What happens when we die? If I believe that my ancestors are “living on”, how is that happening in my perspective? Do they live on in my memories and reflections of their legacy; do they live on as spirits or guardians; are they present for us as heavenly angels; or is it something else entirely?
- Celebrating or memorializing ancestors can bring about feelings of being emotionally and/or spiritually connected to them, to a higher power, or to universal awareness. Which of my ancestors do I want to connect with and why? How would they feel if I were to dedicate a part of my day to remembering them? {Note: This might feel like we are “guessing about their feelings” but if the relationship was amicable and close, there’s a good chance that they would be grateful for our mindful consideration of their feelings and beingness. Listening carefully, it is possible to surmise or imagine their response. Watch this short video (6:41) as Anderson Cooper explains to Stephen Colbert how his careful listening has helped him to “feel” and have a relationship with his deceased dad. Powerful!}
- Some ways to attend to the ancestors include visiting and/or sprucing up the grave site or place in nature where ashes were scattered or interred; looking at ancestors photos or watching videos while sharing memories or stories with others; creating an ofrenda, altar or shrine; lighting candles, making offerings of food, flowers, incense, or other symbolic gifts; wearing jewelry or clothing that represents our relationship with the ancestor; and/or participating in ceremonies, rituals, or services honoring them. What are some ways I remember, honor, celebrate, or attend to my ancestors? What, if anything, do I receive through the process of remembering them or sharing their life experiences with others?
- If there was something the ancestor truly enjoyed or is remembered for, a group activity can become an enjoyable way to honor them. Did they love hiking, singing, poetry, homemade pie, football, or visiting the beach? If so, organize a hike, sing along, poetry slam, or pie bake-off; make T-shirts or hats with their favorite team’s logo; arrange a destination vacation to their favorite beach (mountain to climb, river to run, or city to explore). Be creative. Is there an activity that would bring my attention to, and honor my ancestor while bringing me solace, resilience, peace, or happiness? Do I want to include others in the remembrance activity or is this a solitary experience just for me? Who are the others I might want to include? What is the best way to invite them to participate?
- Another aspect to serving the ancestors is to recognize our connection to them via exploring our own genealogical connections. The National Genealogical Society (NGS) tells us that October is National Family History Month, a time to research, celebrate, and preserve heritage through sharing family stories. NGS offers a list of 18 FREE genealogy search websites. This Family Search blog post offers 31 ways to celebrate the ancestors. Doing even one of them is a way to serve or attend to our ancestors.
- How do my ancestors serve me? Is it through my taking up their teachings, wisdom, practices, or contributions? Do I believe or feel that they act as guardian spirits for my life or the lives of my family or friends? If so, in what ways do they affirm that for me? Are there signs from nature? Songs or number patterns that spark awareness of their unique essence or being? Do they visit me in dreams or mystical visits, sharing whispered messages on the autumn breezes? Is it simply an inner awareness or sense that they are nearby or watching over me? Do they, or the memory of their unique being, help me in some way to find courage, strength, happiness, or purpose? Am I comfortable asking for their assistance in times of need?
- Something we do not want is to be distressed or haunted by badly behaving ancestors (BBAs for short)! I’m not necessarily referring to ghostly hauntings here, but rather to their unsavory personality traits and misdeeds being part of our own DNA. Let’s remember that not every ancestor was a model of kindness. Historically, we humans are not well known for our outstanding benevolence. Reaching back far enough into anyone’s lineage may result in finding ancestors behaving badly or extremely badly. They may have been unkind, neglectful, abandoning, abusive, bullying, tyrannical, violent, or murderous. Our BBAs may have once been living, tangible people we interacted with who are now dead and gone. BBAs from the distant past may come to our attention via genealogical research or from our parents, grandparents, or others sharing their stories. Either way, knowing that we are connected to BBAs through our own DNA may evoke painful feelings, guilt, shame, or fearful traumatic responses. If this is the case, consider counseling to help clear the past, vanquish haunting BBA memories and patterns, and establish fresh strategies for healing. Forgiveness practices can be useful to initiate inner peace and to develop safe, healthy relationship boundaries with the living and the dead.
- Lastly, memorials, funerals, and celebrations of life are appropriate at any time after loss, including immediately following the loss or even years into the future. The Remembrance Holidays offer an annual opportunity to connect with and celebrate our ancestors with gratitude that can bring healing and grace to acute or abiding grief after loss. Am I grieving? Is there an ancestor I want to honor and remember during this special season? If so, who is that? How, where, and when will I celebrate them?
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On the Blog: The latest post in the Long Covid Series is Covid Confusion;“X” is for Crossing parts 1,2, and 3 are available in the ABC’s for Living Well.
Quotes for Season:“Our ancestors live in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies.” ~ Shirley Abbott, Author
“We inherit from our ancestors gifts so often taken for granted.” ~ Robbie Robertson, Songwriter
“A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin, and culture is like a tree without roots.” ~ Marcus Garvey, Jamaican Political Activist
May all beings be safe, well, happy, and content.