(A message from VTara.)
Hello everyone, I have had a busy week a follow up with my surgeon, a visit to a ND Dr Mark James and to Dr Steve for some Chinese tea. Lots of advice and ideas my head is spinning…low carb diet a long list of herbs and supplements and more appointments and more internet research and reading. But the good news is I am feeling stronger and sleeping well. More good news my PET scan came back clear no signs of any cancer spreading to any other places in my body. And my liver looks good. It’s been 4 wks since the 2nd surgery and he gave me the ok to drive and at 6 wks I can take a bath.
On Wednesday the 6th I was blessed to have several close friends come over and we held sacred space for dreaming a new dream. This day was a new moon and a special eclipse day. It was truly magical to sit with these women and share our dreams and hopes and also see my total healing and connect to memories and the power of our grandmothers in our lives.
Pamela Hopkins kindly offered to drive me to the Kunzang Palyul Chöling (KPC) Buddhist communities first annual Lunar New Year Festival of 1000 Lights & Flowers. That was on Thursday, February 7th at the Amitabha Stupa Peace Park in West Sedona. It turned out to be a long day for me but a very powerful experience. I felt truly blessed to be there and there were a lot of people…it’s a beautiful place. I may even get a special invite to meet with the Rinpoche at another time. Christie got permission for me to cut in the line and go ahead….it felt funny but it was a long line. I did walk up to the stupa and that felt good. The Rinpoche made a funny joke because I had my credit union jacket on…..he said he would give me some credit….(it’s a very deep and powerful inside joke). And Christie tied the protection string and as she helped me to a chair she reminded me to remember always that all my breathes matter now………wow……
Today, Feb 9th is my son, Joes birthday he is 19 wow time really goes by quickly. I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many loving friends and this little spiritual community filled with healers as well as my loving family. My daughter is expecting a baby in July so I will soon officially become a grandmother.
I am still doing my research on finding a second opinion and will make a decision on this very soon. However; the cancer centers my insurance is willing to send me and pay for are still medical model……so I am hoping to coordinate something with a ND and do some complementary treatments in addition to chemo. This has been a difficult decision and it’s taken some time to even consider doing chemo however I do think it is for the best and it is within my spiritual practice to do this. Please understand and hold space for me to do the process and the healing. The original oncologist wanted to do chemo for a two week set and a series of 12 sessions however this could change. And in between the chemo I can coordinate the other modalities like, massage, chiropractic, jin shen, acupuncture, and vit-c IV boosts, etc.
I want to thank every one for all the wonderful things you are all doing or have done for me from flowers to cooking to sending Reiki and prayers. And all the generous donations that covered the Navajo medicine ceremony but there are even more monies to cover other treatments etc for during the chemo. It is truly an amazing and heart opening experience to surrender to what needs to unfold and to open to all the love present. The biggest thing I want to communicate is to please see this as a opportunity for me to experience more harmony not only in the world but within my self……it all happens one person at a time from within,,.,,,, so many of the cancer stories talk of winning a battle or it being a good fight to the end…..for me its not about that, its about giving up the fight and opening to the stillness, peace and oneness within……..it is already there within me……so let go and go to the place with in……. I will meet you there.